So... Strange title. I know this. But it has a point, so hang tight.
First of all, your post reminded me of why I am so glad to know you Kate. I admire you so much. I love that we share the same standards and can support each other when those get tried. This is going to help us SO stinking much when we get out into the world. I honestly don't know what I would do without you.
I think we're twins separated at birth, if I haven't told you already. I feel like we always go through the same moods. I thought it was just because we spent every day together in high school, but nope! It's because we're twins. It's because even though we are at two very different colleges, we're still going over the same stinking bumps in the road. You talked about why your Saturday was crazy... I'm going to tell you why my Sunday was crazy.
The past few weeks have felt so strange. I haven't been feeling very "rooted" here yet, like I haven't found my place. I haven't been in any shows, so that area has been in a bit of a famine, and sometimes I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice. It has been especially hard when we go over things in class that I've already learned. It's even harder when my roommate talks about her friend who's attending an acting school in LA. So many things, so many questions, and these past few weeks have given me so many reasons to confuse myself and wish I was somewhere else, doing something else.
As all these questions started building up, and I started to do some research. I started looking up other acting schools in bigger places like New York and California, success stories of other actors, and a million other things to make me think that where I am isn't good enough.
With all of this "looking around" I had a brain-meltdown. Sunday, I "Skyped" my mom and laid everything out. I told her how I was feeling and how I wasn't sure if I'm where I'm supposed to be. I told about how badly I wanted to be somewhere bigger and working on diving into the business. Then my mom reminded me of something. She reminded me of why I wanted so badly to come to BYU. She reminded me of the day we visited campus last year, and how I told her that I knew this is where I was supposed to be. She reminded me that what I'm doing now is exactly right for me, and if I keep following what I feel is right, a bunch of doors will fly open for me.
I have a problem I'm trying to fix: Stop searching for "the grass that's greener," because the grass I'm already in is just as green.
I know things may get tiring or frustrating, and we want to be out in the world "right now," but we need to remember that there's someone watching out for us, making where we are exactly where we need to be. It may not be today or tomorrow, but one day you and I will find our sweet-spot in the world, but we just need to be patient while we bloom.
I love you, little missy!
Cosette
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